Going through a divorce is an emotional process. This is true even if both spouses agree a divorce is in their best interest. When one spouse wants a divorce and the other one does not, it can be even more wrenching. The Collaborative Divorce Process helps address the emotions in a health and constructive manner.
How a Collaborative Divorce Can Ease Emotional Stress
A Collaborative Divorce involves a team approach to divorce. Among the other professionals are mental health professionals who serve as the divorce coach. The divorce coaches help the spouses understand the process, the feelings they are experiencing and aid in the communication between the spouses. The divorce coaches ensure both spouses feel heard. Emotions sometimes become a barrier to truly hearing what the other spouse is saying. The coaches give the spouses the support and education they need to understand why they are feeling what they are feeling. The couple learns to process those feelings and learns how emotions may impact decisions they make during the divorce process.
Emotions can prevent couples from reaching an agreement. Often, it is not the legal or financial issues that get in the way of a settlement agreement, but the emotional issues that intervene. When the emotions are not addressed, it is difficult for the spouses to come to an agreement that meets both their needs so they can move forward.
Dealing with emotions can lessen the impact on the children. When parents can work together to resolve their issues, it lessens the impact of the divorce on the children. It is not the divorce itself that causes damage to the children, but the conflict between the parents.
When the children observe parents, who work through their issues and develop an effective communication plan, they see they have two parents who love them and support them. The children still have a family unit, it has just been restructured. It is important for children to see that their parents are still communicating with each other about the children on important issues.
The parents provide the stability, support, structure, and reassurance that is necessary for their children. This helps the children get through the divorce process in a healthy and stable manner.
Getting past the emotions can help in co-parenting. A divorcing couple with children will be co-parents for the rest of their lives. They will share the children and have special events to attend even after the children become adults. In the Collaborative Process, parents create a co-parenting system that works for their family, which allows for a successful and positive co-parenting relationship after the divorce is over.
Divorce is an emotional process. Collaborative Divorce is the best way to help couples address those emotions during the divorce process, which leads to a better divorce settlement and a better co-parenting relationship post-divorce.
This blog was originally posted on the Sacramento Collaborative Divorce website: https://sacramentocollaborativedivorce.com/category/blog/